Friday, July 22, 2011

With God As My Pilot...

I never get tired of hearing the Religious Right going after whatever it is this week that's rammed a bee up their ass. I never get tired of their victim posturing, I never get tired of their inane theology and vapid ideologies; I never get tried of it. After all, what would I have to blog on if they were normal, healthy, well adjusted individuals like me and you?


I swear if I read something else, by some other dumbass, that it's possible to "pray away the gay", I'm going to scream. I don't know why this myth persists. I also don't know why the Religious Right is so dead set on trying to undermine their own God's will. It could possibly be because they're Untermensch and they don't believe in a God but cling to that system because they benefit from it, but I only think that's true in a few scattered cases, not over all. Their whole theology and ideology is self-defeating, on every front, and they prove once again that they're their own worst enemies. They say they believe one thing, but their actions prove them to believe something totally different, that contradicts what they believe in. The word here is hypocrite. But, because I won't make up a claim without backing it up, allow me to demonstrate how this works:

God is generally acknowledge to be all powerful, and all knowing. Now, I've got another post where I dance circles around this; but this is insisted, so let's stick with this. They pray to God for everything, and they'll claim that God was guiding their life. They got that job because God intended for them too. Their pet died because it's part of God's grand plan. As an all-knowing entity, God's plan would be prefect, just like God is. Which, by our standards here, means it would predetermine everything perfectly. After all, it already predetermined you'd loose your car keys and then find them again. God intended for you to get that job, for you to find your car keys, for your aunt to kick the bucket, because it's part of his plan. This mysterious, ambiguous plan.

What one walks away from with this is the fact that there's determinism at work. God, existing beyond time, would be privy to what is going to happen in the future. Indeed, those who believe in the awesomely stupid, absolutely silly PMD theology would insist that God has a grand plan for all of humanity. A grand plan that he outlined many centuries ago, in a text that was written by a man with the explicit intent of criticizing Rome, but whatever. What this means is that God isn't the copilot folks - God's the pilot. He's not just along for this ride, he's controlling it. This is a one-deity puppet show; God knows everything that can happen, has happened, and will happen, and he's directing mankind towards an inevitable conclusion through intervention with miracles and this grand scheme that he plans out for everyone from birth.

So, why isn't being gay part of that plan? Why isn't having an abortion part of that plan? Surely God saw it, right? If he's planning everything in advance for your life, the reason it happens is his fault, just like the death of your dear eccentric aunt  who sent you that horrid, twisted pink Easter Bunny suit that one year for Christmas, or your favorite Sea Monkey. If God can intervene to make those happen, why can't he intervene to make people gay, or have it writ in their life that they would have an abortion. Why is the death of a loved one part of God's plan, but not being born gay or having an abortion (which is almost the same thing)? Further more, if an abortion was part of God's plan, wouldn't you be acting against God's will trying to prevent abortions? Why? And if he can, why are you against it? Obvious it's just part of his plan, so it does you no good to stick your nose in it and try to stop it. God wills it. What do you have against God's plan?

There's a deeper problem here, though. See, God is the pilot, remember. He's got an outline of history that he encoded inside of a book written several thousand years, speaking to the modern population. He's directing human history towards this inevitable conclusion - that they call the Rapture, or the Tribulation, or whatever the hell they call it. They get all twittery and excited about it, too. "We're finally going home!" They scream. It's really quiet sad and depressing to see a group of people who hate living,  but I'm not talking about them right now. I'm talking about their theology. God is at the helm. He's already decided that all this is going to happen, so there's no preventing it. Now, the Religious Right will scream from the highest point in the land that gay marriage is proof of the oncoming apocalypse. That the "decline of morals" (read: people no longer bottling up natural urges) is proof that the world is going to end.

So what do they do about it? They get excited about it, and then they go out to stop it. They pass laws to make abortion illegal, they try to stop gay marriage, and they try to legislate morality. They're doing Godly Work. For what purpose I have no idea, because it'll all be undone when God finally takes you people and gets you out of our hair, but you're still doing it. This futility and inherent nihilism isn't even what I'm after, though, even though it's just another stumbling block that the Religious Right can't answer.

My major theme here is that gay marriage is God's fault. Every single abortion preformed is God's doing. Every time someone participates in the "decline of morals", it's God's will. Why? Because God is in control. He preordained this would happen in that book, remember? Your entire theology is based around this. God is in control, and he'll dole out these punishments to the wicked in your little revenge fantasy. However, because God is in control, and God is directing everything towards Armageddon, any attempt for you to stop it will not only end up failure but is also you acting against God. You try to stop abortion? Won't happen, and you're acting against God in his efforts to bring about the end of the world, as preordained. You try to stop gay marriage? Can't, it's your God's doing. God is responsible for every "baby murdered" in this country by "abortion doctors." Divine Abortionist indeed - and it's by your own admission. Believing in a Rapture means you believe God preordained everything you take a stand against. So what you're really doing, then is you're taking a stand against your own God, in the name of your God.

That's not hypocrisy. That's not futility and nihilism. That, folks, is outright stupidity. There's no other word for it.

There's also this disturbing revelation that God has already decided who he's going to send to Hell for all eternity and who he hasn't, and there's nothing - not praying, not good works, not a few magic words - that you can do get on that list. Heaven becomes a VIP list, and if you're not on that VIP list, all the praying and belief in the world won't get you in there. Because it's not part of God's grand plan, see?

If that made you dizzy, don't worry. It makes me dizzy too, and I'm the one who typed it.

And it's pretty goddamn pathetic when a lonely little atheist, who holes up in a corner of the internet and essentially yells at shadows, puts more thought into your religion than you did.

1 comment:

  1. man- I found your site by the funny picture at the top and the first few sentence engaged me and I had to keep reading. You make great points dude, the bible is full of tensions that are seemingly contradictory ideas and paradoxes. Though I arrive at a different conclusion in dealing with those paradoxes I actually really love how you point out some really obvious challenges between Gods sovereignty that Chrsitians believe and the call for human responsibility and to live a life treasuring Christ. Again dude, though I disagree with your conclusions I really appreciated your thoughts as you pulled apart the complexities of this paradox. We're prob not gonna solve it in a 700 word post but regardless thought Id give you a shout out. nothing but love.