Monday, December 12, 2011

The War on Christmas (Korean DMZ Edition)

It took me a good couple of seconds to realize what was being done here, and even though I think I got it, I'm not entirely sure I understand. All I can do is scream WHY!?

We all know the Right is deaf to hyperbole. They don't seem to understand it, nor do they seem to understand irony or hypocrisy. But there are time when they go so far over the time that it manages to boggle me.

Behold: the War on Christmas is the same as a the North Korean threat over South Korean due to a Church Group's display in the DMZ:

You might be a communist if…You ban poinsettias from a government school; You rename a Christmas tree a “holiday” tree in a state building…or You threaten your neighbors with unexpected consequences if they want to put up Christmas lights. North Korea has claimed that South Korea’s plan to place three Christmas light displays in the shape of large trees is “a mean attempt for psychological warfare.” Their official site states, “The enemy warmongers ... should be aware that they should be held responsible entirely for any unexpected consequences that may be caused by their scheme,” according to the Associated French Press.

Here in America, a Texas school banned Santa [En: Apparently he's never read Jack Chick. Santa is two mixed letters away from Satan]; a California school went another step and also banned poinsettias and Christmas trees, alleging that each was too religious. In addition, Governor Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island renamed a Christmas tree a holiday tree against the wishes of the tree’s donor and the outcry across his state. It appears Gov. Chafee is well-suited for survival at the North Korea border. His policies are better for kow-towing to the Commies than celebrating Christmas.
Mathew Staver, Founder of Liberty Counsel, commented: “Our thoughts and prayers go out to millions of people who live in repressive regimes like North Korea, where their faith is tested everyday. America needs to be a beacon of hope to the world. It is an important lesson to Americans to not let the ‘grinches’ steal our Christmas spirit here in the land of the free.”
Words fail me.

Seriously. Do they honestly think they live in North Korea? (Don't answer that. I already know the answer).

This is how you know when you're privileged. You can claim you live in a vicious totalitarian state without actually having to live in one, because your faith is "tested" each day because there's no fucking way I'm going to assume you're one religion over another. When your faith is "tested" because you can't force your hermetically sealed bubble on the rest of us. When your faith is "tested" over little shit like the renaming of a fucking tree. This makes us North Korea. Because we call them "Holiday Trees." Because celebrating a holidays, and giving people the right to scream and whine about it, is so what they'd do in North Korea. Jong Il is a good guy. He'll let you complain about how you're persecuted - right up to the firing line, when they'll shut you up for good.

There's a sick irony here - the origin of the War on Christmas, if you've studied the history behind it, comes from the Birchers (as in, John Birchers. You know them better as the Tea Party, but the original John Birch Society is still around. In short, they're paranoid buzzkills who see commies under every rock, stone, and behind ever door. Sort of like how the Tea Party sees Nazis under every rock, stone, and behind every door, but commies too, because they can't tell the difference). They started propagating this lie with a little pamphlet back in the 50s or 60s. In that pamphlet, they made the claim that the Communists (because who else? The Teletubbies?) were out to destroy Christmas in America. This got their base all riled up, and because they were already paranoid, they ran out and ... I dunno. Birchers are fucking weird, okay?

In a weird way, we've come full-circle with this claim. Maybe that's why I'm having such a rough time wrapping my head around this - because it does call back and meet real, actual history, and I'm not used to the Religious Right doing that.

Because, see, Communists are still the major threat on Christmas, because Gov. Chafee calls it a holiday tree, and not a Christmas Tree. And because of that, we're stealing Christmas trees, and it's just as bad as the North Korea threat to South Korea. It makes us a totalitarian nation. It so totally makes sense. Why are you guys laughing at me? Oh, I see. It's because you're commies, too.

Tribalism, folks. That's all this is. My tribe over yours. You're not letting my tribe rule your tribe, and set the rules in society, and you're making us play the rules, when we've never had to play by the rules before. This isn't going to fly. No sir. Making you play by rules that we set is freedom. Making us play by the rules society sets is tantamount to turning us into North Korea.

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