Wednesday, December 21, 2011

10 Differences Between the Religious Right and Jesus

h/t Confessions of a Former Conservative

He does a pretty good take down of this silly little list of points built on strawmen and distorted ideas of what the Religious Right think and what the actual reality around President Obama is. This "10 differences" list is a joke through and through, built around a number of fallacies and straight up stupid claims. As I was reading their list, I couldn't help but think "you know what? I can do better than this." And because this is likely how all great things in this universe being, I concocted my own list of 10 differences - in this case, the 10 differences between the Religious Right and the Jesus they claim to worship.

A heads up - do not refer to the Religious Right as "the Pharisees". For starters, there are still Jewish people who practice Pharisical Judaism, and that's insulting to them. Second, the Pharisees were concerned with the rule of law and the way that the law was carried out. The Religious Right doesn't give a rat's ass about religious law. They only want the religious law insomuch as it benefits them - which is why you hear this made up garbage about how Jesus made it "okay" to eat shrimp and wear mixed fabric clothing while still making it "wrong" to be gay, when there's nothing in the New Testament or any of Jesus' teachings to back that up (oh, sure, you can get Paul to help by quoting maybe two verses out of how many? But you know what? Paul was an asshole. And Paul was not Jesus). So no, let's stop calling them the "modern Pharisees." That's an insult to the practitioners of Pharisical Judaism ancient and modern, and it's not clever or remotely correct.

Also, before we go any further - yes, I have read the Bible. Most atheists have read it. I've read it even further, and I've made an even stronger effort to understand it, because I'm both an author and a student of literary criticism. You can't study Western Lit completely without understanding the Bible.

So, anyway, my list of the 10 ways that the Religious Right differs from Jesus, based on this 10 differences list here.

Their point: 10) At least we know where Jesus was born. What?!
My point: 10) At least Jesus knew what he stood for. What?!

Their point: 9) Jesus was God but some thought he was just a man so they killed Him. Obama was a man who some think is God so they adore him
My Point: 9) Jesus was believed to be God and some thought he was just a man. The Right believes neither and uses him as a tool in their "culture war".

Their Point: 8) Jesus loosed us from strict dietary laws. Obama and his wife want to make new ones.
My Point: 8) Jesus also came to inform us that wealth and prosperity should be shared, and that the poor should be respected and elevated beyond that. The Religious Right only want to make new poor people.

Their Point: 7) Jesus came so that we could live life more abundantly. Obama wants to take from those who live abundantly.
My Point: 8) 7) Jesus also came to inform us that wealth and prosperity should be shared, and that the poor should be respected and elevated beyond that. The Religious Right only wan to make new poor people.

Their Point: 6) Jesus celebrated the Last Supper. Because of Obama, millions don't know if any meal is their last.
My Point: 6) While the Right will fight tooth against so much as giving the poor food stamps, Jesus made a large feast of fish and bread for them.

Their Point: 5) Jesus didn't need a teleprompter.
My Point: 5) Jesus didn't need a teleprompter.

Their Point: 4) Jesus was persecuted. Obama just thinks he is.
My Point: 4) Jesus was actually persecuted. The Religious Right just lie about it.
Alternative: 4) Jesus didn't have to look very far to find persecution, and he found it. The Religious Right are desperately looking everywhere, far and wide, and still haven't found it and likely won't no matter how hard they try.

Their Point: 3) They both give the Jews in Jerusalem a lot of headaches. But for very different reasons.
My Point: 3) They both give the Jews Jewish people in Jerusalem a lot of headaches*. But for very different reasons.

Their Point: 2) One is the way, the light, and the truth. One thinks he is the way and the light, that's the truth.
My Point: 2) One is believed by many to be the way, the light, and the truth. One is widely acknowledged by others as thinking they are the way and the light, that's the truth.

And number 1 -

Their Point: 1) Jesus said, "And he that shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me." Obama says that's above his pay grade.
My Point: 1) Jesus knew what he was talking about, and so did his followers. The Religious Right thinks they know what he was talking about, but couldn't care less if he actually meant it or not^.

* Two notes about this sentence. First, "Jews" is lined out because I know a few folks who feel it's impersonal and comes across as hostile, and I tend to agree, and because it's really bad grammar. It should be "Jewish people." Second, I'm not sure how much of a headache Jesus really was to the people of Jerusalem, seeing as how it was likely he was a leading Rabbi. Now, to the Roman rulers, he likely was. But I decided to keep it the way it was presented, due to ease of flipping it around.

^ I've read the comments on CofFC, and I suppose I can sorta see the subtext there for abortion, but it's like one of those puzzles where you have to squint really hard, and it only sorta looks like what we're talking about.

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