Friday, January 13, 2012

School's Prayer

Here's my new version of this school's prayer:
Our Heavenly Father

Grant us each day so that we may regress and stay ignorant; so that we may express our intolerance and bigotry towards those who are different from us. To remain mentally and morally stunted, as well as physically confrontational, for we are not adults, and have no other recourse for expressing our feelings. To be cruel to the helpless and the downtrodden, the unprivileged and those with a different view, so we and our teachers may mock our classmates for disagreeing with us. To be as utterly dishonest as possible, to others and ourselves. Help us be as self righteous and arrogantly hypocritical as possible. Teach us the value of hate and ignorance, as well as intolerance and inhuman cruelty, so that we may express it towards those whom we disagree. Help us conduct ourselves as such so that we can bring due credit to the Christians of Rhode Island in general and Cranston High School West in particular.


Oh, but she won. Congratulations, Jessica Ahlquist - stay strong in the face of adversity. She's won so far, and she'll win here, too. Those Christians are full of shit - they're all talk, without the moral fortitude to back up their immoral words. Not that this takes away, nor should it take away, any fear that their words inspire. They should all be taken seriously - so seriously I'm posting their names here, along with their comments.

Taste the Christian love. If it tastes sorta like shit, that's because it is.


  1. It's too bad, because a lot of the "prayer" could've been worded in a secular fashion and it would've been a great motivation.

    The problem is that the American Christian is lost. Lost to fear, hatred and backward-looking. I see the love of God in Sub-atomic Particles. I see the glory of a creator Writ large across the sky, in the heart of a star a Billion light-years away, which is probably long-dead. And you know what? I think that's beautiful.

    And I believe in going forward. I don't know much about much, so until the boffins (God bless you, Boffins!) figure it out, I can say that God did it. Which ain't great, but it'll have to do until someone smart (Love you boffins!) sweats the details.

    Love to you, dude. (Dudette? Let me know if I have the genders right here)

  2. I know! And it's so frustrating to see something that could be so encouraging and motivational basically thrown out wholesale. Change a few words and bring it back - get rid of the "Heavenly Father" and "Amen." It'd be awesome; it would be perfect. And then for them to turn around and not even follow it... it leaves me speechless (not really - otherwise there'd never be a post or follow up comment).

    I don't particularly care which. Whichever is easiest to remember :)