Saturday, August 6, 2011

They Call It The American Dream Because It's Just A Dream

I pay every month for student loans. Three of them. This does not make me special. This does make me envious of places where higher education is encouraged and you can go to school cheaply, but it having to pay bills doesn't make me special in any way. That's just part of the adult world. It's something I signed on to when I made the mistake of wanting to be someone that had a career rather than someone who merely had a job. And I still only got a part-time job out of it.

So no, I don't get the right to complain about bills or even student loan payments. There are thousands out there who suffer this misery in silence, and do the adult thing: pay what they owe. So do I. 

I can get a set amount of money from the DoE and from Nelnet, two of my loan holders, no problem. Every month, like clockwork - it's like all my other bills. I know how much I owe, and I can plan around it and scrimp and save with my pathetic little part-time job. I can make it through. It's harder than fuck, but I can do it.

And then Sallie Mae comes along.

They'll tell me how much they owe me one month and then change that the day it's due. Either to make it more expensive or less expensive. While less expensive is a pleasant surprise, it still pisses me off. They don't give me a set amount. I have nothing I can plan around - any figures they give me right up until the day it's due are unreliable. Thankfully there's a small, 15 day window that gives me the time I need to pay, but you know what? I'm so sick of this.

I won't be working hardly at all next month. The college I work at goes on break - a four week long break - and being part-time staff, I don't get paid for breaks. It times nicely with school starting back up so I can sub my ass off, and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get past. Just maybe.

I've applied for two full time jobs the last month and I haven't heard anything back from them. Sallie Mae keeps pulling this shit - this is the second month now they've done it - and I won't be able to make it. There's things I have to have. I have to have my medicine to get by; I have to have my car to get around and build my credit up so I can move on. I have no other means to build credit, and having no credit is just as bad as having a 0 on that report. I also end up paying for health insurance - in full, and the coverage I get isn't stellar - and I have to have car insurance to own a vehicle. If I could ditch the health insurance payment a month things would be so much easier on me, but I need my medicine, so I can't.

American society is so messed up. Those of you living in other countries better damn well be thanking your lucky stars you were born someplace else. Those of you thinking of moving here need to have your head examined. If given the opportunity too, I'd pack up and leave. There are First World countries you could be moving to. Countries that care about their citizenry, that want to remain First World. Places like Canada, or Great Britain, or France, or Japan, or South Korea, or Taiwan. These places. These are also places I wouldn't mind moving too, and if shit goes really bad the election cycle, and Bachmann gets elected, I'll be heading to Canada. I already know their National Anthem by heart. I might anyway if this country keeps trying to economically kill me like it is.

But that's not something I need. It's something I want.

And because I can barely afford what I need, what I want becomes a non-issue.

But hey. I'm better off than a lot of Americans - I can barely afford what I need. Most Americans can't even do that.

The pernicious lie: "50% of Americans get by without paying any taxes at all!"
The pernicious truth: "Exactly. Now tell me - exactly how much money do you have to be making to pay no taxes? I'll give you hint: not enough to survive on. Why, it'd be so little an amount you couldn't afford to pay taxes at all."

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