Thursday, August 4, 2011

Rush the Last Man & Spongebob the Treehugger

The stupid round up kicks into overdrive today, with two new posts just in from Crooks and Liars. I couldn't resist commenting on them, because I'm the verbose individual that I usually am.

First up on the table, we're dealing with Rushbo the Clown, who proudly declares he has no problem being "the last man".
Limbaugh: I'm happy to be the last man standing. I'm honored to be the last man standing. Yeah, I'm the true maverick. I can do more than four words. I could say I hope [President Obama] fails and I could do a brief explanation of why. You know, I want to win. If my party doesn't, I do. If my party has sacrificed the whole concept of victory, sorry, I'm now the Republican in name only, and they are the sellouts.
I’m willing to give everything I have, including my country, and throw it all under the bus in order to win. I’m reminded of the four-year-old who breaks all their toys just so their siblings can’t play with them. We’ve gone right beyond “cutting off your nose to spite your face” and into “blowing your face off with a .50 to spite the mirror.” Victory or bust; literally. I’ll win even if I have to destroy everything in the process of winning, so there won’t be anything left to win.

At what point does someone with more pull or authority than me stand up and say: “Ummm… guys? Yeah, I don’t think you thought this through…”

If you disagree with me, you’re a sellout to the mainstream, man. Can’t you tell we’re hardcore here? We’re the real deal in the Republikan Underground, with all our red and Elephant bling. The rest of you cats are just a bunch of posers, who shop at the Hot Topik for Republicans.

Next up: Fox and Friends believes that watching Spongebob Squarepants will teach your child how to become a Treehugger.
Fox News has a new enemy. Today’s Fox and Friends devoted multiple segments to attacking SpongeBob SquarePants for telling kids the truth about global warming.[..]
After a SpongeBob clip, hatchet man Steve Doocy went to work, “Ok, so what happened July 20, the Department of Education invited a bunch of DC kids in and they had this festivity and they handed out these particular Nickelodeon books where clearly Nickelodeon is pushing a global warming agenda, and while there’s no disputing the fact that the Earth is getting a little warmer the big question is, is it man-made or is it just one of those gigantic climactic phases you know phases that were going? For a while we’re cold and then we get warmer and then we colder and then we get warmer. Which one is it? The science on both sides, there are a lot of scientists who say it’s this, others say it’s that.”[..]
What Fox News showed viewers was a 6 year old short which debuted on TBS in 2005, but what they were really talking about was a book SpongeBob Goes Green: An Earth Friendly Adventure which came out in 2009. Even though the Fox and Friends crew was discussing a book, they never mentioned the fact that the SpongeBob short isn’t part of the television show. FNC was sending the message that their viewers shouldn’t let their kids watch that liberal propagandist SpongeBob, who also happens to be ratings juggernaut that has more viewers per episode than any Fox News program.
I'm sorry, guys, I just am. This is one of those cases where the stupid speaks for itself. And the things it says are... well, they're less flattering than anything I could come up with. Maybe that last sentence - Spongebob has higher rates than any other Fox News program - says enough.

But don't wory, I have a new theme for Fox and Friends that might draw more viewers:

Oooh... who lives in the television lying to me?
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
Absurd and yellow and pasty they be
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
If non-news and nonsense be something you wish
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
Then drop all your wits and be their game fish!
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
Fox! News! Block! Heads!
Foxnews Blockheads!
*pirate  laugh*

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