We traded advancement for what again?

I think this says it all, really.

I look at that chart and I laugh, but that's only because if I don't, I'll cry. It's true. It's so true. It's a 100 pound iron bat of truth, and even that isn't enough to get through the thick skulls of today's so-stupid-how-do-you-remember-to-breathe conservative(tm).

Sometimes I wish we could just load all of the republicans on a boat, ship them out to sea, and torpedo it. But that'd be polluting the oceans, and as a liberal, I can't stand by that. I've gotta be a tree-hugger. It was in the EULA when I signed on to the Liberal Agenda. And you don't even want to know what was in the EULA when I signed on for the Homosexual Agenda. It was fabulous. 


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In other news, Herman Cain is an idiot. We knew that already, though, and while I'd link you to Fox news to prove it, I won't. And I won't because it'd be like linking to Whirled Nut Daily; I'd feel dirty doing it. I'd feel like I was betraying my cause by giving them the traffic. So instead, here's Ed Brayton over on Science Blogs - he'll do the linking instead.

Some highlights of Cain's interview:

Wallace: They have operated -- Muslim worshipers -- at another site there for more than 20 years. What's your objection to their building a new mosque?
Cain: One of my guiding principles, Chris, is that if you want to know the solution to the problem or if you want to understand the problem, go to source closest to the problem. I talk to the people in that community.
And here's their problem and I sympathized with them. Our Constitution guarantees separation of church and state. Islam combines church and state. They are using the church part of our First Amendment to infuse their mosque in that community and the people in the community do not like it, they disagree with it.
Sharia law is what they are to infuse in to our [...]

Mmhmm...

Cain: To the people in Murfreesboro, it is hallowed ground. They are objecting to the intentions of trying to get Sharia law. Now, that judge may have ruled, but this case isn't over with yet. I believe it's going to go all the way to the Supreme Court.
It's not hallowed ground. It's hallowed ground for people in Murfreesboro

"It's not hallowed ground. It's hallowed ground." Note that's not even the usual conservative doublespeak: it's not "that's not green. It's a shade of blue and yellow." That's flat out blackwhite on a level Orwell never imagined possible: It's not hallowed ground. It's hallowed ground.

AND THIS MAN SAYS THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. AND HE'S RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A BAD THING YET?

Also note: building mosque = Sharia law.

These people are Big Brother's wet dream. They'd make such good Party drones; such good proles for the outer party.

Wallace: So, you're saying that any community, if they want to ban a mosque.
Cain: Yes, they have the right to do that. That's not discriminating based upon religion -- against that particular religion. There is an aspect of them building that mosque that doesn't get talked about. And the people in the community know what is it and they are talking about it.

*sigh*
LOL FURST AMENDMENT WUTS A FURST AMENDMENT

Upshot: An atheist community (if such a thing existed) could ban Christian churches. Of course, you know that's not what Cain has in his pea-brain. Oh no, this is only good if it's used to discriminate "explore an aspect of them building that church that doesn't get talked about, and the people in the community know what it is and are talking about it" against a minority population, it's acceptable, but not for Christians. See, [Insert garbage about America being a Christian Country/founded on the Judeo-Christian Mystery Religion/Founders were Christian/JAY-SUS here]. Silly Liberals.

Cue Cain sockpuppets in 3... 2... 1...

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They're at it again Texas. As the heat swelters, the collective IQ of the SBOE seems to be shriveling into something that bears a vague resemblance to a polluted raisin. They're debating the reality again.

You know, that whole creation myth is nothing but stupid. Not only God a phenomenal asshole throughout, but taken literally, it contradicts itself; there's two different versions: Genesis 1, which has God creating man and woman at the same time, and Genesis 2, which, for no reason at all, has God starting creation over again (with no mention of the creation from Genesis 1, mind you) and blowing his nose into dirt and creating Adam, and then creating Eve from his rib.

They call it "understanding the Bible." If you took it literally, there'd be nothing to understand, because it wouldn't be anything. Language is a series of symbols and metaphors. The Bible cannot be literal by it's very building blocks. When you give me something that's not a Language, when you show me a Bible unwritten in no language that can't be put into words, then we'll talk about being able to make that literal.

Maybe that's why conservatives do this. They're pulling from a literal Bible, told to them by God in something that's not a language, and they're relying it to us. That would explain why they come off as so damn stupid and insane.

Or they could just be pulling it out of their ass. That's a possibility, too, and their definition of "literal" is "whatever the fuck I want it to be."

Oh, and this apparently applies for reality, as well.

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This is depressing. We need a song.

Ah - this one fits the feel for today.