tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2862170131521435894.post5872006529559521440..comments2023-11-02T07:39:02.009-07:00Comments on Post-Modern Enlightenment: Human Black Box: Things Go Sideways (pt 4)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2862170131521435894.post-80471581260474172992011-07-31T13:17:42.454-07:002011-07-31T13:17:42.454-07:00For the record, the nanite-directed tornadoes are ...For the record, the nanite-directed tornadoes are not canon. That's something I cooked up, reasoning that if a nanite swarm could seed a cloud for rain and form and control cloud movements (which is canon), it could probably do the same for a tornado. Nanites are small enough that they aren't effected by windsheer speeds, thus they wouldn't be hurt at all by the tornado, unless a rock or something clobbered them. But even then, TITAN nanites are stronger than regular, because they're self-replicating von Newman machines and don't require a hive.<br /><br />You've meet TITAN nanites before, too. The tentacle from the first part that appeared out of nowhere (I've used that trick against my players when I run EP - they do *not* like it) and cut down the headhunter was a nanoswarm that suddenly formed into a weapon. I always treat nanites as being less than a character or entity and more a force of uncontrolled nature; partially because they <i>control</i> nature in some cases. <br /><br />Of course, TITAN nanites and nanite-controlled/directed tornadoes are child's play compared to what calls the remains Las Vegas home.Enigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05365715172516356113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2862170131521435894.post-19734563078304114382011-07-31T11:46:06.975-07:002011-07-31T11:46:06.975-07:00[Hotaru can talk to you with Mesh assistance]
Mi...<em>[Hotaru can talk to you with Mesh assistance] </em><br /><br />Missing a period.<br /><br /><em>She continued froward </em><br /><br />Forward.<br /><br /><em>she pushed down harder on the gas peddle </em><br /><br />Pedal.<br /><br /><em>The rain was lightning up </em><br /><br />Lightening, although it is somewhat fitting.<br /><br /><em>She looked over at Ahmed as he tapped her head. </em><br /><br />Tapped Hotaru's head. Otherwise the “her” defaults to Chloe, the last person to be referred to with feminine pronouns.<br /><br /><em>via some medium to cyberbrain of the vehicle </em><br /><br /><em>The</em> cyberbrain.<br /><br /><em>Chloe though about asking </em><br /><br />Thought.<br /><br /><em>as the tried to figure out </em><br /><br />They.<br /><br /><em>Chloe could feel the hair on her nap rise </em><br /><br />Nape.<br /><br /><em>she looked over and watch the first steps of a tornado form </em><br /><br />Watched.<br /><br /><em>to the north of them and barreling down fast </em><br /><br />“To” is the first word of a sentence and should be capitalised.<br /><br /><em>was quiet possibly the largest tornado </em><br /><br />You've mixed up “quiet” and “quite” again.<br /><br /><em>ranging in size from a feet </em><br /><br />A <em>few</em> feet, I'm guessing. I suppose it could be “a foot”, but that seems a bit small.<br /><br /><em>punching through the it like it wasn't even there </em><br /><br />Unnecessary “the”.<br /><br /><em>Nanties? </em><br /><br />Nanites.<br /><br /><em>How the fuck does a tornado chase someone! </em><br /><br />Question mark as well as exclamation point.<br /><br /><em>The tornado continued it's haphazard maneuver </em><br /><br />Its.<br /><br /><em>programmed to attack whatever movies. </em><br /><br />Moves.<br /><br /><em>It left just them and that half-mile monstrosity, but that was unable to keep up with them. Eventually, as they left the mountains and went under the Sherman Forest Road, the tornado was unable to keep up with them, and started to shrink </em><br /><br />One of those “unable to keep up with them” clauses is redundant.<br /><br /><em>the last thing I want is to get snowed in here </em><br /><br />“The” should be capitalised.<br /><br /><em>dead set on killing us," She said, pointing back </em><br /><br />“She” shouldn't be.<br /><br />[/proofreader]<br /><br />Future!hellhole!Earth, where even the weather is out to kill you. Is there something special about our protagonists, or do Earth's myriad baddies just kill everyone on principle? (Probably spoily to answer that. I'm merely wondering out loud.)Brinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18034585577015417306noreply@blogger.com